life

Happy Friggin’ New Year

[This is off topic and not all that cheerful. Read at your own peril.]

Let me be honest: I don’t like January.

It is, perhaps, my least favorite month of the year (though I’m not real crazy about March, either, but that’s mainly because I live in Ohio and the weather sucks in March). For me, January is usually fraught with unexpected expenses, illness, back and forth between various tax websites and student loan companies, crappy weather and worse roads, post-holiday scheduling cuts (and thus, pay cuts) at work, and the start of SAD season for me, which usually lasts well into April (yes, I have one of those special lamps. No, it is not a cure-all).  And to top it off, I’m usually surrounded by fonts of energetic optimism, making goals, working out, and preaching about how “a healthy lifestyle will really make everything better!” when my only solace comes from spending too many hours on the couch with knitting and that leftover Christmas candy I got for 90% off.

January 2013 sucked. It sucked in such a major way that I’m surprised NASA didn’t set up a special task force to analyze it and incorporate it into the design of the particle accelerator, since no black hole they might have accidentally created could possibly have had more sucking power. It seemed to be a carry over from 2012, which was absolutely horrible. Things didn’t improve until around March. At that point, I went from not being able to catch a break to a few good things starting to happen–which would promptly be followed by something horrible that completely negated it (like getting a publishing contract…which was then dropped. Or the three awesome job interviews I had…none of which resulted in offers for various reasons. Or the fact that every time I got a windfall, something would break or just go horribly wrong and my account would end up over drawn).

I kind of felt like I went from sky diving without a parachute only to land on a rollercoaster. Only instead of the hills getting smaller as the ride went on, the drop offs just became steeper.

I’m hoping that this year, I get all of the crap out of the way early. If I’m using that theory, then January is right on schedule and things should be fine and dandy by spring at the latest.

Of course, that was the theory I used last year, too, and look how that turned out.

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5 thoughts on “Happy Friggin’ New Year”

  1. Any way you cut it, 2013 sucked. It wasn’t life-threatening illness or major disaster, but it was just one of those years where, as you say, one couldn’t catch a break. I’d love to say, like Glenn Ford did in “Gilda” (Dir: Charles Vidor, 1946), as Johnny Farrell; “I make my own luck”, but I’ve tried implementing it in real life and it doesn’t really work.
    Here’s hoping for a kinder, gentler and fairer 2014. Hope you get through January without too much trouble.
    Onwards and upwards, as they say.

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  2. Ah yes… Life sucks! But sometimes it does get better. Although this is of no comfort until it actually does get better. Until that moment, this is just another random cliche trying to cheer you up which probably makes you feel even worse. I’ve been there and occasionally still visit that dark place from time to time. There’s nothing I can do for you from here, but I do wish you a brighter year than the last.

    PS: Do you take walks? It really helped me and my sister out when we got stuck in the dark and that stupid light didn’t help one tiny bit anymore. Maybe it can help you too.

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    1. Your life Will get better.

      I went through much of the same first part of 2013. Then the year ended quite good. Many folks go thruough the January down and out rut. Happens to me quite often, bills, too many expenses and not enough money left at the end of the pay check.

      I, and perhaps others who read your blog, can relate to lifes downtrodden times. They end. Sometimes when least expected. Do something silly. Bundle in warm clothes, get out and play in the snow like a child. or go for a walk. Go alone and talk to yourself. Sometimes it helps.

      I wish you all the best for 2014 and a cheerier than normal January on.

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  3. True, not a cheerful post, but at least you’re sharing your feelings with people who care. Just look at these sympathetic comments; one of the problems of feeling like you’re alone in a dark place is that you can’t see all the people sitting around you. I was recently diagnosed with a chronic form of low level depression, which means that I probably wouldn’t feel better, even if things got better. Sound familiar?

    Yes, taking walks can help. But, if it were only as cold in Ohio as it is here in lower Missouri, I wouldn’t suggest frostbite as a cure for seasonal depression. Better to hunker down and indulge your creative impulses. You seem to be a far more prolific writer and blogger than I am, and I can attest to the therapeutic value of writing.

    I’ll second Rob’s sentiments: Chin up. Take care of yourself.

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